I got dumped D:

Not really recently, but a few months ago.

At first she gave me the 'we should just be friends' excuse, but after some digging, I found the real reason, and it hurt pretty bad: I was too timid in the bedroom. I'm really scared of hurting people, you see, and afraid to try new things. So when she asked me to be her 'Dom', and I did some research, I got scared and refused.

Can I get some advice as to how to be more confident/outgoing in this particular thing? (sex?)

Aww sweetie that just sucks.

But I understand it. It's something new and you're freaking out because you don't know how far she wants you to go with it. Like, does she want some light spanks or does she want you to pick her up and throw her in a cage.

I'm sorry this happened to you and for me I'm in a mildly similar situation. I'm trying to become more comfortable with my own sexuality so I can express it in the bedroom. (Anything outside of vanilla sex is extremely difficult for me to bring up.)

I've tried to fix this by speaking more openly among those I know who enjoy this type of thing. For example, for four months I had an older 'mentor' who I could talk to about it, and have all my questions answered. This helped a lot and it eventually got me into a sex club in San Francisco called PowerExchange that I had previously been too scared to go to.

My suggestion is start small. Talk to your friends (if their cool with it) about it, perhaps with the next girl ask her if she wants you to talk dirty, or give her light spanks.

Work your way into it, don't just jump into the deep end. You'll find yourself more afraid and less talented if you do that.

Thanks for the advice!

No problamo!